The Order of Life

One of the aspects of Autism and Sensory Processing Disorder that I'm still struggling to come to grips with is the order that things must happen to make sense. For me I just buckle down and do it, even if it means bouncing around from task to task. Eventually they all get done.

 

Now I'm not saying that I do it right. Everyone can do it their own way as long as it gets done. Just ask my stepsons or my husband about whether or not I make boxed Mac 'n Cheese the correct way. They all make it differently and look at me oddly when I do it my way (granted I refuse to eat the stuff).

 

Anyway, many kids with SPD and/or Autism like to organize things/activities in ways that make sense to them.  For example, Cyprus will line up anything with wheels until it stretches from one end of the room to another. The only time he really mixes things up is when he stacks the side-by-side instead of bumper to bumper.   When Kids on the Move came to our house to teach me how to work/play with him they suggested I mix things up to help him learn to see things in new ways (and possibly to learn to cope when things doing go the way you planned).  Unfortunately, I admittedly don't do it enough since they transitioned him to preschool at age 3.

 

Another example with both Rose and Cyprus is that they have issues with food. If its not the right texture, the right look, or if its touching something else they won't eat it. This makes meal times quite a struggle for me. The only things they will eat on a consistent basis are pepperoni pizza, grilled cheese sandwich, chicken nuggets and fries, pb&j, and cheese quesadillas. No, that is not what I always give them. We still feed them what we are eating, but 99 times out of 100 they would rather starve then eat it.  Good thing for multi-vitamins.   What's really annoying to me is that they used to eat all sorts of good stuff until they hit about two and half/three years of age. Rose would eat an entire avocado by herself. She would eat peas, carrots, potatoes that weren't French fries, etc. It was lovely.  But at the same age for both Cyprus and Rose they stopped eating.  I can't even give them grilled chicken or breaded chicken strips. It has to be a nugget, dinosaur, Mickey Mouse ears type of chicken (which personally after seeing Jamie Oliver's food revolution just grosses me out).

 

The other night I was tired and new that the kids wouldn't eat chicken puffs, even though I put some on their plate, so I also gave them one slice of Kraft Singles, some canned mandarin oranges, some mixed veggies and some crackers. Rose refused to eat the cheese (which is usually something she loves) because there was a crack in it and because a corner of it touched just barely the mixed veggies.  Oh no!  Her world officially came to an end.

 

I honestly am still trying to learn how to cope with these type of tantrums. To me they don't make sense, but I know for Cyprus and Rose its the only thing that does make sense. 

 

Here are a list of some of the other things that have a set pattern to my kids:

 

• A drink must 3 ice cubes, no more no less or the drink becomes undrinkable
• In order to brush Rose's hair I must use the "heart brush" that is from My Little Ponies, otherwise she must scream the entire event of brushing to survive (I have to admit though she has naturally curly hair and thus lots of knots)
• You cannot change your shirt first. Pants and underwear must always precede changing the shirt and if Mommy dares to mess it up then the child must take the shirt off until things are put on in proper order.
• A child cannot sing a bedtime song or read a bedtime story. "I'm just a little girl."
• Must have the one odd looking chair at the table and the world ends if someone else took it.
• Food cannot be touching.
• Will not wipe after going to the bathroom for fear of getting stuff on hands.
• Will not sit next to Mom when eating a salad for fear that it will contaminate them.
• If they don't get their way than it is officially the end of the world and by George I will let everyone know it.

But there are some inventive ideas they come up with because they look at the world differently.

• Rose is fantastic at science because of her natural curiosity.
• Cyprus took apart my laptop keyboard when he was two.
• Both kids love to experiment to see how things work (and it is rubbing off on their little brother  which is a good thing).
• They love to learn and to run.
• Rose has no fear (other than not getting her way) and is glad to say/wave hi to everyone.

It is often hard for me to deal with their unwillingness to bend, especially if I'm on a time crunch. I struggle to find the balance of enhancing what they're good at with teaching them how to cope when things don't go their way.  I love how their mind works most of the time. I'm still working on the rest. But no matter what they are all my little miracles and I'm glad that I'm their Mother. I'm pretty sure that I'm learning more from them than they are from me.