I hate the term "special needs" when it comes to people. It feels so black and white, light and dark. And yet there are varying shades of colors and depth to everyone.
Two of my kids fall under the qualifier "special needs", but when I look at them I see their dimensionality. My daughter, Rose, the one with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), is a runner, an investigator, a musician, a comedian, a scientist, and a true light in my life. She can also drive me up the wall with her stubbornness (which comes from me), her tenacity, and her spunk. All that in mind, I don't see her as fitting the term "special needs".
SPD effects everyone differently, individually. For Rose, it shows itself in how quickly she can become overwhelmed with what is going on. If there is a breeze, and a sound, and a movement, and and and and. . .her mind becomes overloaded and she begins to "tune out" things (i.e. like her mom trying to talk to her). She isn't doing it on purpose. She's doing it because its all too much that she has to parcel it down to what she can handle.
Rose also needs greater impact or pressure on her body before it jars her the way it would do other people. Because of this she tends to jump from high locations so she can feel the same pressure as someone who just hopped in place. As a result, she tends to run into walls on purpose to create sensation and generally make her mom nervous.
However, when she was little I didn't understand any of this. I just wanted to understand my daughter. I wanted to understand how Rose thought - why she did the things she did. Here I was blessed with this amazing, independent, smart, incredible being in my life and I had no clue what to do about it.
Thankfully, a friend at church sat in my daughter's class and watched Rose and saw how she reacted to things. Privately she came to me and asked if she could make a suggestion. She recommended a program called Kids on the Move that could test Rose to see if she had any developmental delays. I took my friend up on her suggestion only to find out that the age cut off was 3 years and my daughter was four. Luckily, they were able to test my son, Cyperus, who was 2 1/2, and identified him as possibly Autistic and showing developmental delays. They were then able to bring speech therapist, occupational therapists, and fine/gross motor skills therapist to my house to help me work with Cyperus. As for Rose, they recommended that I contact the local school district for testing.
I did have Rose tested and we soon discovered that she did have some developmental delays and could qualify for the special needs preschool. The preschool has been an incredible blessing to Rose, and later to Cyperus, in helping me where I could not help my children (especially since by that time I had a one year old at home to deal with). However, it didn't change the fact that I wasn't sure how to read my kids' needs when they were at home. I talked to my doctor about my concerns with my daughter not registering me talking to her, so together we agreed to have her hearing tested. The audiologist came back and explained to me that he could tell by Rose's reactions that she was hearing the various sounds, but didn't seem to connect what she was hearing.
I went back to our doctor with those test results and he formally diagnosed her with Sensory Processing Disorder and referred me to a Pediatric Physical Therapist/Occupational Therapist. This woman was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. She taught me why Rose reacts the way she does and then would work with my daughter, while I watched, to show her activities that will help her learn to compensate and deal with the alternative way her mind works. She also recommended this brilliant book that has helped me (as well as some friends) learn why children with SPD do certain things, and how I could help her through them.
So here is your book recommendation of the day:
Understanding Your Child's Sensory Signals: A Practical Daily Use Handbook for Parents and Teachers by Angie Voss, OTR/L.
This magnificent book is an on-the-go guide to help you understanding what you're child with Sensory issues is doing. For example, my daughter chews on her hair, so I look up in the table of contents "Chews on Sleeves, Hair, Fingers, Non Food Objects" and I go to the page it recommends. On that page, I can find out what sensory categories are triggered by this action, and explanation of why the child may be doing this, possible questions to consider, and a list of ideas on how I might help my child meet this sensory need.
THIS BOOK IS BRILLIANT.
So if you are blessed with a child who sees and feels the world differently, there are groups, school districts, and literature that can help you bridge the gap between you and your child to where you can meet in the middle. You just have to open yourself up to looking in unusual places, and keeping your ears opened to those around you. Good luck, and let me know what tools you've found to help your family garden succeed.
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