On to more testing. . .

Today I took Juniper to the local school district to have him tested for their preschool program when he turns three in September.  He did fantastic on the cognitive when it came to matching similar pictures, until he got so focused on lining the pictures within the square just right and not so much on matching the pictures. Still he got really a high score, but when it came to anything cognitive related to language he only got a 1%.  All other emotion/social, adaptive, etc., he also showed delays. 

The amazing thing is I think this kid is fantastic, brilliant, and funny.  And here I thought that, compared to his siblings at that age, he is extremely advanced. I'm just glad for the explanation of what his needs are and the future help we will get to help him.   Now we just need to get his fine & gross motor skills tested and then they'll be able to tell me what he services he qualifies for.

So my advice is that it is better to know now then to wait and find out later when its harder for the kids to catch up.  If you have any questions about how your child fares it is best to have him/her tested. Then they can be ahead of the game instead of feeling like they're falling behind.   You can find out if there are any programs or testing through your local school district as well as doing an online search for programs similar to Kids on the Move that work with children ages 0-3 with health issues, occupational therapy, speech therapy and developmental delays.

Things you never thought you'd say. . .

"Because I said so, that's why. . .  "

"Just wait until your father gets home . . . "

"No TV until you've practice you're piano . . . "


Any of these sound familiar?  We all go through a phase as parents where we swear we will never say the same things that our parents said to us.  And yet, at some point we usually do.  Well, have you ever thought of the things you find yourself saying that you never thought in a million years you would say. Ever. Period. ?????


Like . . .

"That pizza cutter does not go up your butt crack."

"That turkey baster doesn't go in your bell button."

"That sock doesn't go over your privates."

Yep, that's one my sweet husband had to say last night.  And having sensory kids who are potty training we've said a lot worse.  Our kids do things by feel, touch, and taste.  And some of the things we've had to stop or kids from doing aren't appropriate to post here.  But oh boy have we found ourselves blushing, laughing, and shaking our heads.


So while I'm busy disinfecting clothes and kitchen ware how about you tell me what are some of the strangest things you ever found yourself saying to your children?

Recovering From the Flu

Last week was an eventful one for our family. In the middle of the night one night Rose began to throw up. She was sick so often that I ended up sleeping on her floor just to make sure she is okay. Then two days later about two a.m. Juniper started throwing up.  Followed later the next night by my husband. The next morning Cyprus joined the club, and later that afternoon I was last in line.  Did I mention it was the day before my birthday.

When you have five people in the house who are ill you have to mix things up. Toilet training went out the window for a few days and random things became "throw up bowls" (in fact now we need new Easter buckets for next year).  Even my modified nutritional plan went out the window. Not only could I not eat every 3 hours a fat, a carb, and a protein,  I couldn't keep anything down and I was far from hungry.

So now that we've survived last week its now time to get everyone back on our routine--back to potty training, back to eating right, and back to working with the kids on their summer homework.  It might take me a little longer to get back to exercise group though.  Oh well. One thing at a time.

Good Days Bad Days

I love my kids. They are brilliant, funny, amazing children. That said, we have our good days and our bad days. The other day the kids did amazing going to the Aquarium with a large crowd. They had fun, stayed by us fairly well, and came home exhausted.  Saturday Cyprus had a huge win and took himself to the potty. Juniper is quick with a hug and the first to say "Our you okay?" when his klutzy mommy gets hurt.  Those are all brilliant awesome moments that make being a mom great.

Today is a hard day. For example, my daughter has had the flu since Saturday night and throwing up everything. And our potty training little boys are going through a regressive stage. We've been letting them run around half-naked in order of getting a better understanding of things work with their bodies. And we've had some major wins as they are progressing. However, the last two days they've been either holding everything until they are in pull-ups for rest time or bed time or they just pee all over the couch.

During the last week I've been doing quite times after lunch because, let's be honest, this mommy needs a sanity break. But just because its "quiet time" doesn't mean this house is "quiet". The boys are going through the lets be as rough as we can while wrestling and pulling/pushing each other until someone gets hurt phase. And between that, the vomiting, and the pee regression I kicked into Mommy Cleaning Hamster.  It's how I deal with stress. No its not the best way (and I'm working on that), but its what I do. If I get overly stressed I clean.  So I started cleaning up the vomit and peed on living room floor with our carpet cleaner while the boys were supposed to be eating lunch (Rose was upstairs resting on our bed). I had to move the couch to do it. The boys took this as a sign to forget all about lunch and jump all over the couch.

As I was cleaning they were pulling on the cord to trip each other up, beating each other, and Joseph was even wrapping the cord around his neck.  I put them back at the table several times, tried doing the techniques our occupational therapist is teaching us, but what mommy was doing was way too fun.  Finally, after pushing too far they both got swatted on the bum and told to go to their rooms. 

They laughed.

It was too much for this mommy.  With a few inappropriate cuss words I picked each kid up (one at a time), tossed them fireman style over my shoulder (its safer that way when you've had back surgery) and marched them upstairs, and put them in their room, placing the security gate on their door and closing the one on top of the stairs. Then I went down stairs, cursed some more, and finished cleaning.

Logically the whole time I was telling myself This is not how to deal with. You are going overboard. They're just begging for some direct interaction with you. Emotionally is a whole different story.  I knew I was pushed too far, and I knew cussing and swatting wasn't going to be successful with my kids and their needs (and might make matters worse).  All I knew was that in situations like that it is best to put your kids somewhere where they are safe, can't harm each other, and where you can walk away.  So I did.

It's not a proud mommy moment, but its an honest one.  All I can say is that each moment I will try to make better than the last. And every chance I get I will hug and hold my kids, tell them I love them and try and let them know when they've gone to far.  And if I have to then help pay for whatever shrink they might need down the road.

In the end, tomorrow is a new day and I will do my best to be a better mom than I was today.

Fear of Dentist

Candid moment here. . . .I am afraid of the dentist.  I have crappy teeth.  I brush my teeth. I've gotten a lot better at flossing daily and I always go to the dentist. But no matter how hard I take care of my teeth I usually still end up with cavities, needing root canals, etc.  Between that and the fact that my kids have special needs I am terrified to bring my kids to the dentist.  It took four years for me to be willing to bring Rose. And then the second time I brought her she actually had a cavity.  She did great, but I keep waiting for the meltdowns.  We went for our regular checkup this week and I am happy and proud to say that for once neither of us actually had any cavities, though Rose is working on getting way too many adult teeth all at once.

But here is the true confession, because of my paranoia about what might happen I haven't even brought Cyprus or Juniper to the dentist, even once. Cyprus is Autistic and we've just learned that Juniper is showing signs of Autism and ADHD.  So the thought of taking them to a dentist where they have to have x-rays of their teeth while sitting still in a room full of strangers is enough to make this Mom go a little sensory avoidance herself and want to curl in a ball in a corner.

My awesome dentist has offered to have an initial visit where Cyprus can just look around, play in the chair and greet everyone, but I'm still honestly working up the courage.  One of these days I will get there. I know how important it is to take care of your teeth.  I just have to be able to handle it first.

Novel Study Helps With Bloody Noses

I'm a writer. So I'm frequently researching things for future novels. Recently, I've been studying into outdoor survival and in extreme circumstances.  I've even learned how to start a fire with a tampon and how to stay hidden in a jungle amidst gorilla warfare.  So now I'm totally prepared for the Zombie Apocalypse , granted I haven't had much practical experience yet.

One of the shows I had watched was Worst Case Scenario with Bear Grylls on Netflix instant streaming. During the segments where they are going to commercial break Bear discusses less life-threatening scenarios like the best way to get your thumb unstuck from a bowling ball and what to do if your fingers are stuck together with superglue.

He did a particular segment on the best way to get rid of bloody noses. Oddly enough he said to put pressure on the skin between your upper lip and your nose for something like 30 seconds.  Well, this week alone two of my kids had bloody noses and I suddenly remembered this piece of research from two months ago.  I tried it out on my kids and  . . . it works.

So try it out next time your little ones come running to you covered in a bloody faucet of ooze (unless it isn't a bloody nose, then you should call the cops or the hospital as needed).

Braving One Day At A Time

Today I braved taking the kids to the park, granted I knew I was meeting friends there that could and would help if things got out of hand.  But we made it.  The kids ran rampant, got all sweaty, and did a lot of sliding.  There were a few times Juniper tried to make a beeline for the street but a loud "uh uh uh" from me or my friends stopped him.  You could actually see him trying to figure out in his mind if it was worth disobeying four women vs. just one mom.  Three out of the four times he turned around and went back to the play area. 

The fourth time he was running past the sand volleyball quart toward the busier street and an oncoming monster lawnmower. We called for him to stop and this time he thought about it and then kept running. Thanks to a lighter body and being prepared with running shoes I caught up to him long before the super park lawn mowing machine got near. "Poor" little guy was stuck sitting with mommy until it was time to go.

Well practice makes perfect and today showed that we're a little closer with our practice.  Thursday we're going to brave taking the kids to the new aquarium with a bunch of other special needs families. We'll see how they brave that one.

The Car Wash Monster

After going to exercise group this morning my kids and I hit the gas station. Oh a whim I decided to splurge for the cheapest car wash. I thought the kids would get a kick out of it.  I never saw such diverse reactions, yet so in line with each child.

Rose - Laughing. "The car is being tickled."

Cyprus - Clearly thinking I wonder how I can take this all apart to see how it works.

Juniper - Screaming/Crying I don't like this. The cars being eaten by a monster!  Get me out of here.


So next time you think of surprising your kids with a unique treat think first about whether or not it will give your child nightmares (and then maybe do it anyway).

What do you do. . . ?

What do you do if you have a drama child?

Today I had one that was playing with my Kindle and when it ran out of power started screaming (literally) "I'm doomed. I'm doomed. I'll never play a game ever again."

This has happened all day long in regards to a number of things and I'm just at a loss on how to handle.

So. . .ready . . .go, what do you do to handle a child that makes everything into an extreme drama issue?

Trusting Yourself

This post is more about me than my wonderful family, however it can apply when having to deal with specialists or doctors regarding anyone.  In recent months my heart has been beating faster than normal, they call it tachycardia, but the doctors have been unable to narrow down the root cause.

"It may be this. . . "

"Or it may be that. . . "

"You should give up these medications. . . "

"Oh but the repercussions would be bad if you gave up those medication. . . "


What it comes down to is listening to my mother-in-law who told me to listen to myself.   I know my family. I know me and my history. As brilliant as doctors and specialists are they don't know me as well as I do.  If something about their opinion doesn't "feel" right or sit well with you, then listen to your heart and trust your instincts.

So I'm going to trust myself and keep doing what I'm doing to get healthier.

As for my kids I once had someone tell me they though little Juniper was "normal", but I'm glad I listened to my heart these last few months. Whether or not he was "normal" when they saw him he is delayed now. So I'm glad that I listened to my heart and followed through on getting the help that I need.

So in the end trust your heart, your instincts, your conscience. . .whatever you call it, and go forth and conquer with no fear.

Drops of Awesomeness Potty Training Style

We have been spending the last 6 months trying to cut back costs wherever we can in order to live within our means. We've gotten to the point that there isn't much else we can cut out, except diapers.
So, in a moment of either bravery or insanity, we are potty training both boys at once.  Oh boy!!!!  Today is day 5 (I think - the days are merging together). 

One thing I am learning (or being reminded of) with potty training special need kids is that it is really hard for me not to get frustrated when they purposely go elsewhere other than the potty. I need to step back, reign in my emotions, smile and walk them through the steps again. I just need to show them each time where the poop and pee go, help them clean it up, smile, tell them I love them and that we'll try again next time.

I'm learning that I need to focus on the little wins, like "hey, they're learning to hold it a little more" as they run around butt naked.  And "hey, I got peed on less today". And "man am I glad we own a carpet cleaner."

No my kids aren't typical, but they are worth the time and effort.

Fireworks

Happy Independence Day everyone.

One thing I've learned through my short years as a mother of special needs kids is that you have to be prepared for anything (or at least be flexible).

Once or twice we tried to have the kids stay up to watch the fireworks displays. We live in a wonderful place where we don't even have to go anywhere to watch them. All we do is turn off the lights, meet in our bedroom and pile on the bed. Then, turning off the lights, we simply watch the fireworks out our bedroom window--no fights for parking, no worrying about whether, and if the kids are tired their beds are just feet away. However, they've only opted to watch fireworks with us twice during the time they have been a part of our lives.   Usually its too late at night for them and our kids find them scary instead of pretty.

The interesting thing about July 4th for our family living in Utah is that there are always fireworks anytime from the end of June through the end of July due to all the local towns special festivals & parades.  So each year I try and take time to sit each child on my lap and explain to them that they are going to hear loud bangs and pops outside at night and that its okay. We have to warn them in advance so that the loud noise doesn't bother them.  This year I've even propped Rose up so she can look out her window in case any of the neighbors set off their own fireworks.  We'll see how it goes.

Be The Best Mom For Today

For the last nine months or so I have been meeting with a counselor to help me learn how to cope with some of the craziness of my life. She has been an amazing help.  I met with her again today and we talked about some of the struggles of being a mom to three special needs kids. The difficulty is that each kid needs help in different ways and I often have difficulty adjusting between methods when all three kids need me at once.

She reminded me of something that I used to tell myself all the time long before I ever had kids. "Be the best you for today, whatever that means."  She modified it to "Be the best mom you can be for today. Your best maybe different from day to day, but never stop trying to be the best mom for whatever that means for today."

There are sometimes in life where we seem to handle things better. Then there are days where the littlest things throw our game totally off.  (In all honesty its the exact same thing for kids.) Our best will change each day. The goal is to figure out what your best is for today and work to be that.

So I have days where the tv is my lifesaver and the kids end up spending much to much time in front of it. But on those days I just try to make sure that whatever they watch is educational. Hence all the Team Umizoomi, Your Baby Can Read, Blues Clues, School House Rock, and They Might Be Giants videos that my kids watch.

Other days where my best as a mom is better then we can turn off the tv, go to exercise group, play with bubbles, or go to the park.  As for today, my best this morning was pretty good, but this afternoon went downhill. However, no matter the gear shifting I have to do, I will never give up striving to be the best mom for my particular kids.  They are pretty awesome kids afterall.