For the last two years our family has been given diagnosis after diagnosis. We've been doing our best to accept and deal with each one as they come. There are days that are easier than others. So far, we've been told Rose has Sensory Processing Disorder, that Cyprus has Autism, and that Juniper possibly as ADHD, Autism, and Pediatric Airway Disorder. And that's just the kids.
In the last two years I had to have back surgery due to a ruptured disc from picking up my son, heart-rate problems, chronic migraines, dislocated ribs and collarbone, extended family illnesses and divorces, and recently we were told that I might be suffering from multiple sclerosis.
The chaotic-ness of life has triggered depression and anxiety for me, and upped the anti for my husband as well (for a great blog post about what its like dealing with depression click here; https://randommormonmusings.wordpress.com/2014/08/13/on-depression-and-suicide/).
The greatest difficulty in dealing with all the ups-and-downs, and waiting times for various specialists (for us and the kids) is to never give up. It's not exactly "pulling yourself up by the bootstraps." It's realizing that, even in the midst of a lot of crap, there are still beautiful things happening. I still fall down. I still have my moments where I curl in a ball literally and break down sobbing. And I still detest the ambivalence that comes with waiting for firm diagnosis. But there are a lot more positive things that I've learned or remembered:
- I love naps.
- I love the quiet
- I love dark chocolate
- I love really complex books
- I love to write teenage angsty stories
- I love the sound of my children's laughter
- I love getting to know extended family again
- I love the power of prayer on a person's soul
- I love my husband more than life itself
- I love volunteering at the library
- I love painted toenails
- I love clouded skies and green grass
- I love my children's hugs
- I love locked doors
- I love Zupas salads & Wisconsin Cauliflower Soup
- I love Cravings Bakery in Pleasant Grove and their gluten-free cupcakes
- I love clean sheets
- I miss going to church on a regular basis
- I love to make up songs about everything
- I love listening to scriptures on my MP3 player in my car
- I love jazz music
- I still dislike doing genealogy, but love learning about the individual stories (go figure that one out)
- And I have amazing friends
So even though life has been insane for the last two years, there are still a lot of little things that make my life beautiful just the way it is.
No comments:
Post a Comment