Thursday, August 28, 2014

Preschool Testing

Today was the magic day. Juniper completed his final round of testing with the local school district to determine if he qualifies for services. Each time we go to the Special Ed department I have to bring Juniper in a stroller because he loves that place. Anytime we try and leave he throws an all out major fit and is getting too big for me to carry him back to the car.  As soon as we got to the appointment my son ran for the play area in the foyer where there this huge wooden toy that has beaded spirals on top, and each side of the pentagon has a different activity.

When it came time to do the gross motor skills portion of the test, he didn't want to leave.  The room where they did the test was this long narrow room that allows space for the kids to run, kick balls, jump, etc.  The tester tried to get Juniper to walk down this red line on the floor.  He shook his head and said, "No."   Then they wanted him to jump off a low chair. Again he said, "No." But he would do it if the tester would hold both of his hands. Then he did it again with one hand. When it came time to do it by himself, he shook his head and said, "No."

When they wanted him to kick the ball he threw it across the room.  Ten minutes later, when they were testing a different activity he suddenly started kicking the ball. When they wanted him to walk backwards he pulled out the chair and started jumping off of it all on his own. 

Get the picture.

However, I was quite impressed that when the tester said "freeze" he would actually stand still.  That's a newbie.  And when they asked him to hop over the line it took him a few moments to understand the concept, then he didn't want to stop. And when they wanted him to stand on one foot I was totally surprised when he copy-catted her (though he did keep one hand on the wall while he did it).

After the gross motor skills test he went in a different room for the fine motor skills test. He had the stacking of blocks part down to a skill. But when they mixed it up and told him to make them into a train he built a longer tower.  When they wanted him to color a straight line, he squiggled all over the paper. Then, 5 minutes later started drawing straight lines.  When the tester wanted him to crumple up a paper, he looked totally confused. However, a few minutes later when they wanted him to fold a piece of paper he was busy crumpling his paper up and walking it over to the trash can. 

So I've learned something about my son.  It takes him a few minutes to digest what he has seen and what he's been asked to do.  If given the time to think about and work it out in his mind, then he's quite capable of doing it. He doesn't just mimic. He thinks it through until his mind understands it and then he'll to it.  It maybe slower than a "typical" child, but I think its kind of cool that he can pick things up that quickly.

In the end, I was showed his ratings from all of the tests and was told "We agree with all of your concerns."  Well, I'm glad it wasn't just my imagination. ;-)   The next step is for the education team to get together, review his results and formulate and Individual Education Plan or IEP. Then they will discuss his placement.  Seeing how he is going to be 3 in one week, they're going to have to step on it and quickly (especially since Monday is a holiday).

I asked the coordinator what were the chances of him getting into the preschool program and was told that they "can't" discuss that until at the IEP review meeting.  I told her that my other son was already in the preschool program and it would mean the world to me if Juniper got in as well.

"Oh, so you already know about Miss Jenn."

When I said yes, she started circling the different areas on the paper where Juniper had "developmental delays" and started doing a dramatic nod. "When we have kids with delays in more than one area, then there is a high likelihood that they will assigned to the preschool program."

I smiled and laughed and thanked her for not telling me before the IEP meeting.  Yahoo!!!!  Now I just have to work with the teacher to establish the necessary goals for Juniper to work on, find out what days he'll be going to school, and get him set up to ride the bus with his brother.

Happy Dance!!!

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

#2 is Out of Here + Paranoid Mommy Smiling

Lest you think that #2 is in relations to the bathroom you can relax.  My second child, Cyprus started pre-school today.  So that makes two down and one to go.  On a day when I'm struggling with dislocated ribs, a migraine, a sinus infection and a dislocated collar bone, it was a huge relief to have him go off to school.

As for the paranoia update, well because Cyprus started school today I needed to be home to get him on the bus. However, I've been walking with Rose to and from school for the last week making sure she was used to the routine before I forced myself to let go and trust the other awesome kids to get her there.  Oh my was that ever hard for me.  With her Sensory Processing Disorder it is easily for things to distract her. She doesn't do it intentionally, its just how her brain is wired.  But I trust the older girl who is walking with her and I needed to teach Rose to take responsibility.

Having said that, I dropped Rose off at my friend's house so that her daughter, and a few other kids could walk to school together. Then, as I rushed home, I prayed for her safety and success. A few minutes later the bus for the special needs preschool showed up. I stood back as Cyprus climbed aboard and immediately took the same seat he had last year. Though I waved and said my goodbyes and love you's, he failed to even look at me once. He was set and eager to go.

Once he was gone I called and made an appointment with the chiropractor to deal with my own out of sync body. On the way I detoured over to the elementary school. . . just to make sure that Rose had gotten there safely and was lined up where she was supposed to be.  From the street I couldn't see her as her class lines next up to all the Kindergartners starting their very first day of school.  So, being the paranoid mom I am, I parked the car and snuck up to the school until I could actually see her, while simultaneously staying out of sight so she wouldn't notice me.   I was so relieved, happy, excited, overjoyed, emotionally ecstatic. You name it. I am proud.  And over the moon for my angel helpers watching over my daughter. 

So double happy dance going on for this mom.  Two kids in school and safe with good people surrounding them.  And the necessary doctors visits done and medication in my system to help me recover.  Now I just need to get little Juniper's fine/gross motor skills test out of the way later this week and then, hopefully, he'll get to start school two weeks from today. 

Then, I'll just pass out in utter delirium.


Monday, August 25, 2014

Doctor Visits

I took Cyprus to the doctor today. We've had this weird sinus pressure/runny nose thing going around the house.  I've got it full blown and am down for the count. Juniper's turned into an ear infection and Rose has had a runny nose.  So since Cyprus starts school tomorrow at the special needs preschool I needed to make sure that if he did have an infection he'd be able to take the antibiotic for a day before starting school.

The funny thing about Cyprus is he always surprises me.  Whatever I expect him to do he rarely does, but not necessarily in a bad way. I had taken Juniper to the doctor on Friday and had to hold him as he fought to get free during the check up (granted he ended up having an ear infection).  With Cyprus he ran to get on the scales to be weighed. When the nurse took his temperature, he grabbed the oxygen meter and put it on his finger correctly. Then when we got back in the room he started taking deep breaths even though the doctor wasn't there to listen to his lungs yet.  When the nurse went to tell the doctor we were ready Cyprus called after her and said, "Thank you."

Our pediatrician likes to give the kids their own tongue depressor to hold and play with during the exam. With Juniper he immediately threw it on the floor. With Cyprus he opened his mouth, pressed his tongue down with the stick and said, "Ahhhhh."  What a remarkable kid. And it was wide enough for the doctor to get a great look at Cyprus's throat.

And after all that the doctor said his ears and throat are not infected and that he is not contagious. So he is cleared to start school tomorrow. Hip hip hooray!!!! Apparently though if a runny nose lasts more than two weeks you should have your child checked out again just to make sure it hasn't turned into a sinus infection.  Huh, now I know.

Friday, August 22, 2014

Mom Confession

I've heard from many moms that have felt they are feeling like they are failing at everything.  It may feel like it, but your not.  I know I often feel that way, but the point is to never give up.

Now here is my mom confession about back to school and you can tell me if you think I still struggle with feeling like a failure or temporary hopelessness. . .

Cyprus starts back at the special needs preschool next week. The other day the bus driver called to confirm our address and the school he's going to.  She just wanted to double check before test driving the route. Once she is able to do that she will call us back to let us know the pick up/drop off times for our son.   I thanked her profusely and when I hung up I started sobbing.

Why you may ask?  Simply because I was grateful there was no proof that my son was going back to school and hence a light at the end of the tunnel. What mom would want to get rid of her kids?

Me. Not permanently, just temporarily for a few hours.  I need a break.  I love my kids more than life itself. There are my miracles and amazing and funny and brilliant and and and. . .

But with this preschool I know he is going to a safe place with fantastic people who are trained to do things that I can't.  My personal well is tapped out.  So Cyprus will get a break from us, be with other kids, and be taught by kids who love him nearly as much as me and know how to reach him when I can't.

When I cried, I cried out of gratitude and relief.  So yeah, I still have moments when I feel like I'm a failure, but I'm not a lone and I have amazing people to lift me up.

Hang in there. You can do it.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Happy Dance

My son, Juniper had me doing the happy dance today. He is almost three and knows how to talk, but not necessarily to communicate. But when he does make certain connections then he can use speak 3-5 word sentences with no difficulty and usually in the right instances. We've been working with his brother, Cyprus, to learn sign language. The benefit of that is that Juniper watches all the Signing Time videos with his brother.

Today Juniper must have made a certain connection because all of a sudden he's started using signs that we've been trying to get him to use for months.  I asked him if he was ready to go get in the car and Juniper said, and signed, the word for car and then ran outside to get in the car.  When he was hurt he signed/said "help me please".  I was astounded.  And earlier in the day when it was almost time to walk to the school to pick up Rose, Juniper signed "coat" and then ran and got his coat.

I love it when a plan comes together in that little guy's head. It's AWESOME.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Difficulties Weighing the "Right" Choice

I am really struggling the last few days knowing what is the right thing to do for my children when it comes to schooling.  Sweet Rose's doctor diagnosed her with Sensory Processing Disorder two years ago.  My Cyprus is Moderate Functioning Autistic (still not sure what that really means) according to the test performed by the psychologists at the local school district. And now my Juniper is showing signs of Autism as well as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).

I just learned that a new charter school called Spectrum Academy has just opened in a town nearby that focuses on education for Autistic Children, Asperger's Syndrome, and their siblings. I've been trying to figure out if I should try and get Cyprus transferred over there for next year when he becomes (gasp) a kindergartner.

But that raises a lot of questions, some I have answered already, some I'm still trying to figure out.

One thing I have learned is that Charter schools are linked with the school district and as such are free. But if your child attends a Charter school they do not have access to buses, the parents bring the kids to school.  Usually I would have no problem with this as long as my child is getting the support he needs. However, my daughter currently goes to first grade at one school. Her brothers are/or will attend the special needs preschool sponsored by the school district. I'm already having issues getting my daughter to one school while figuring out how to get my sons on and off their bus at the needed times.   Now imagine sending Cyprus to a third school where I would have to drive him there at the exact same time I'm supposed to have Juniper on the bus on Rose on her way toward her school.  It's a bit mind boggling for me.

I've also learned that Charter schools tend to run on a lottery system. This is because there are a limited number of spaces open at the school. It also means that at some point in the Spring you submit your child's name into a list. Then names are drawn to determine who gets the opened spaces.  If you do not get accepted as part of the lottery then you resubmit your child's name the following year and hope. The thing that worries me is that this academy seems really tailored to meet the needs of spectrum children to help them learn: use of natural light, soothing colors painted on the wall, sensory objects allowed at the student's desk to help them remain calm, plus the services of occupational therapists, speech therapists, safe rooms when the child just needs to readjust themselves to be able to cope with others, and aides to help when tantrums arise. It sounds like a dream. . .if  they deal with Moderate Functioning Kids as well.

There are many questions plaguing my mind that I'm working to answer:

- The Autism school specializes in education for High Functioning Autism, but Cyprus is Moderate Functioning. I have to find out if they can work with him.
- I learned that the school district has Autism classes, but I don't know at which schools and I have heard that they only have them until your child reaches a certain age. So I have to talk to the school district to learn more of what options are available on their end.
- I've also learned of other Charter schools that focus on adjusting the education as need to fit the needs of your student. So if your particular child if advanced in Math beyond their grade level then they are given the excelled learning in Math, but if they struggle in Reading they work at the level they are.  So now I want to learn more about these other schools?  However, there is still the difficulties of getting them to and from school.

The final question is - What can I handle as their mother? I want to give my children the best chance at being their best selves, but at what cost?  If I'm so stressed that I can't cope well and get sick (as is my MO) then its harder for me to be able to be a good mom.  So at this young age, when they learn their best, which is more important - the right help or a sane mom?

Lots to learn and lots to pray about, but as this is a whole new field of information for me I thought it might be for others as well and wished to share. I hope this helps.  If anyone else out there knows more about Spectrum Academy or Odyssey Charter schools I would love to hear from you.  Also, if anyone know about what the school district has to offer I'd love to here from you.  Also, if you've found yourself in a similar situation I would love to hear how you decided on your choice.

Happy Learning!!!

Monday, August 18, 2014

Lunch Time Practice

Tomorrow starts the first day of first grade for my not so little Rose. This will be the first time for her to be gone all day long.  In order to help her prepare we have been practicing how to have lunch.  Rose loves peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. She'd probably eat them for every meal if she could. So we are planning on sending her with a lunch to school, but with her sensory processing disorder new things can quickly become overwhelming for her. And to honestly admit it, there are a lot of things I've done over the last year for her to speed up the process rather than dealing with the struggle. My fault.

To help her cope with her first day we have been spending the last four days practicing how to have lunch.  We've packed everything we plan on actually giving her for school inside her lunch box and zip it close then put it on the table for her.  This allows her to practice zipping open her bag, pulling up the string cheese, opening the yoghurt or Jell-O, and opening up the Ziploc baggies with her sandwich. We've also got her boxed fruit/veggie juice so that she can practice opening the straw and poking it into the container. She's had some minor struggles, but she's been doing great overall.

This practice helps her get used to the routine, identify the things she can throw out after lunch and what she needs to bring home, plus helps her with her fine motor skills improving her finger strength.  We're hoping this will make her much more comfortable and capable to conquer her first experiences with lunch hour.

Good luck, Boo!  We love you.

Friday, August 15, 2014

Obstructive Play

One of the many things I'm learning about working with my Autistic children is the ability to do Obstructive Play. The idea is that while interactively playing with my kids I need to watch what they are doing for a bit, then quietly and gently do something different that interrupts how they are playing.

For example, Cyprus loves to line up all the toy vehicles (i.e. trains, cars, trucks, etc.) into one long line trunk to hood. With obstructive play I am supposed to sit with him on the floor and observe his play, then at a quiet moment do something like turn on of the cars sideways, switch two cars' positions, or put my arm down as he is about to line up another car and say "Oh oh. The road is blocked. What are you going to do?"  The idea is to trigger the brain to work on problem solving instead of continuing the repetitive play.

Juniper is obsessed with letters and numbers. When you show him a book with pictures he is so focused on the letters he doesn't see anything else on the page.  So the play therapist suggested I start taping over the words in simple picture books to get Juniper to focus on what else is there.  Or when Juniper is building towers out of his blocks and he is so focused on counting them that I take a moment to stop and observe. Then at a safe/appropriate time I gently knock the tower down and say, "Oh oh, they fell over. What are you going to do?"  And then to help Juniper rebuild or whatever choice he comes up with after given the problem.

The overall goal is to mix up their thought processes, to build new connections, to get him to actually interact with others, and to help them learn problem solving skills.  Who thought playtime took so much planning & thinking on a parents' part.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Being Surprised

Cyprus surprised me yesterday. While I was working with Juniper and his learning specialist I got out blocks for Cyprus to play with.  Within a half an hour he was picking through the pile of blocks for specific letters, then lining them up in a row, then reading them allowed.

These words included:

Pie
Team
Bake
Sheep
Shut
Cut
Wait

And so much more.  I was flabbergasted. One of the things I struggle with how Cyprus manifests his autism is that I never know what he is thinking nor what he comprehends. And yet here he was putting words together, sounding them out, and reading them.

The specialist and I just stared at each other.  I had no clue Cyprus could read.  I knew he knew the alphabet and I knew he knew some word association from educational videos we watch frequently. But some of the words he was using I do not recall being on those programs.   I am so proud of him and quite impressed.  Go Cyprus!!!!

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

The Lonely Cucumber

Kids with special needs often have difficulties in relation to food - sensitivities or aversions, etc.  When my kids were learning to eat I made my own baby food simple because it was less expensive and had less chemicals. At that age my kids ate sweet potatoes, peas, carrots, apricots, plums, and all sorts of other good stuff.  It was marvelous. Juniper would even come over, sit on my lap, and start eating my salads.  I loved it.

Then at the magic age of 2 1/2 that all changed. Suddenly, the kids stopped eating all the good stuff and all they would eat was mac 'n cheese (boxed that is), chicken nuggets & fries, pepperoni pizza, cheese quesadillas, grilled cheese sandwiches and peanut butter & jelly sandwiches.  For breakfast they would only eat cereal (dry on a plate, milk on the side in a cup).  I went bonkers. I tried making food look fun. I tried having the kids help me cook it. I tried persuasion and force.  Yeah. Not happening.

I talked to the kids doctor about it a few years ago when Cyprus had started this phase and she said that most kids go through that phase and that it can take an average of 72 times of trying to reintroduce the food before a kid will try it again (and that's for a 'normal' kid).  And because of their age and weight the doctor said "IF they want pizza, give them pizza because they need the fat at this stage.  Keep introducing the other foods, but mostly make sure they are getting the calories." I was hoping with Juniper's love of stealing my salads that he would bypass this phase entirely.  Unfortunately, this summer the food aversion phase once again kicked in.

While previously working with an occupational therapist for Rose she had us to food related playtime. We'd make up games and then get Rose to be blindfolded then she would mix flavors and textures and Rose would sniff, lick, and possibly eat them mostly.  Its amazing the power the mind has over food, because if I gave Rose the same food un-blindfolded she would gag, throw tantrums, and be 100% willing to starve herself for days if need be not to eat it.

So we live by multi-vitamins in the meantime to makeup for what they lack.  I still battle giving them foods that they once loved. Yesterday I picked a fresh cucumber from our garden. Today I sliced it up to go with my lunch and once again I included my children in on the bounty. Along with cucumber they had a grilled cheese sandwich and an apple. Once again the lonely cucumber remains solitary on the plate. Rose at least deemed to lick it for me before she tossed it aside.

Only 56 more times to go. 

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

How to work with a hyposensitive child. . .

This week I've met with an occupational therapist and a speech therapist to help me learn what my little Juniper needs to make sense of this world.  The OT did some exercises to try and pinpoint any sensory issues that Juniper might have (we already expect he is somewhere on the Autism Spectrum).  After several tests and a near concussion the OT determined that Juniper is hypo-sensitive.

The term hypo-sensitive can be a bit confusing. Even my mother's first reaction was that it meant he was overly sensitive to touch, sound, etc. That isn't the case. To be "hypo" sensitive means to have a low or diminished reaction to stimulus. For many kids with this issue they can seem to be daredevils.  For example, Rose jumps from high locations in order to receive the same physical sensation that another person might get from jumping in place. 

It can be a scary thing to watch your child do ever increasingly dangerous activities simply because they crave the same feeling you or I might get from normal activities.  I've had kids running into walls on purpose, jumping large gaps to land on unsolid objects, etc.

According to the OT that is partially why Juniper is constantly running, constantly on the go, and also why he is having difficulty communicating.  He is so focused on trying to get his body to feel that it won't quiet down enough to let his brain make certain connections.  Juniper knows words.  In fact, he knows many more words than Rose or Cyprus did at his age.  And often he can use those words and phrases in context.  However. . . he only speaks words or phrases that he has heard used at home 100s of times and very rarely to actually communicate with another person.

So the first thing I am learning with my children and their different sensitivities is that if I ever want them to be able to think then I need to get them exercising/moving first.  Once their bodies feel that their sensitivity needs have been met, then they will step back and allow the brain to function better so that my kids can focus.

Oh what a lot of fun and learning we all have ahead of us.

Monday, August 11, 2014

Today's Win

Ever since I had Juniper, nearly three years ago, it has been a slow progression getting to a point where I feel like I could "handle" things again.  Once I hit three kids (and long before I knew all three were special needs) I found it difficult to let my kids go play outside. For one thing the kids now outnumbered the parents.  We simply didn't have enough hands.  For another thing its hard to watch one kid sneak behind the nearby buildings while another is running into the busy street and the third is randomly walking into our neighbors houses.

In all honesty it was a bit overwhelming for me.  Plus, for a while I was going through postpartum depression that did nothing to help the situation. Then throw in back surgery for good measure.  Usually I would wait until my husband got home and asked him to take the kids outside.  He was better at not freaking out over whatever our kids were doing.  He was more calm and collected and kept better tabs over our motley crew.

Well, today was a win for me because I let all three kids out front this morning into the communal grassy area to play.  I even brought out their toddler slide and popped up a blanket and pillow in the shade for me to keep a careful I on them.  My eyes still darted nervously around the common area and I still had to call for Juniper when he wondered to close to the road (my neighbor and I were totally astounded when he actually listened and came back without me having to chase him down). 

We were actually out there for at least an hour or longer and I'm still mentally sane and didn't lose any children in the process.  I would call that a WIN on my part.  Now time for some celebratory chocolate and maybe a nap.  ;-)

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Teaching Gratitude

This last few days I have been struggling and praying to know how to improve as a mother. I'm actually a fairly good mom, but I want to be a better one.  I've noticed with Rose especially that she has been getting upset over everything. Part of that is because of how she processes/doesn't process her senses. She frequently gets emotionally confused and overloaded and ends up screaming "I'll never ever get to do (enter object or activity here) ever again."  Then she runs to her room and slams the door.  A few minutes later she will come down and apologize profusely in hopes that that will solve everything.  I keep telling her that I'm grateful that she says she is sorry, but I need her to show me that she is sorry but striving to be better.

Teaching how to "be better" is hard when you're trying to explain it to any kid, but especially those with special needs. I often wonder how much my kids actually understand of what I'm trying to teach them.  They hear differently, their brains are wired uniquely. They understand in their own way. 

So my new tactic is to try and teach Rose of the wonderful people and things that she already has in her life. To change from focusing on what she doesn't or can't have and instead focus on being glad for what she does have.

Two days ago I told her to spend a day thinking about five things that she was happy about or happy to have. Then when we would meet the next night for personal prayers I would tell her 5 things I was grateful for and she could tell me 5 things that she was happy for and together that would be 10 whole things.

Here is the list that she came up with:

- I'm happy for bunny (her stuffed rabbit)
- I'm grateful for my Pokémon book with bulbasaur in it
- I'm glad that I have friends
- I'm glad for my toys
- I'm glad for you Mommy


Here was my list:

- I'm grateful for blankets to tuck you in at night
- I'm grateful for a car that gets us to church, school, exercise, and to the store
- I'm grateful for my daughter who teaches me to be better
- I'm grateful for your daddy for he makes me smile
- I'm grateful for food on our table


Our plan is that each night we will keep tell each other five new things that we each are grateful for or make us happy. Hopefully it will help us learn to see more of the beauty in life and each other instead of both of us focusing on the things that frustrate both of us about each other. I believe its the right step for each of us at this time.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Inventions I'm grateful for while potty training . . .

One of the top banes of parenthood has to be the dreaded season of potty training. Silly me decided to try two kids at once - and both boys at that.  We've had our ups and downs, but there are certain inventions that are making this process endurable. They include, but are not limited to:

1) Febreze - Enough said
2) Lysol - Okay ditto
3) Glade Candles - Do you get the point
4) Patience - I'm still looking for an unlimited supply of this (and preferably on sale too)
5) Bubbles - Instant reward for any little boy
6) Red Starburst - One of the few treats my little Cyprus will eat (for some reason I have a kid opposed to sweets)
7) YouTube - When you are forced to have potty time on a potty chair anywhere using a device with YouTube on it can give the potty trainee enough distraction to do the deed
8) Kindle - See above invention
9) Washers & Dryers & Carpet Cleaners - For when accidents abound
10) Smiles & Cheers - The best inventions are free and can really make a little ones day


So what are some tips, tricks or tools that you have used to survive this horrid of seasons?

Monday, August 4, 2014

The Power of Quiet Time. . . .

I get the point of quiet time.  I rally do. I'm just waiting for my kids to get.  For the last two weeks we've regularly taken quiet time immediately after lunch. Its not that my kids really need to nap, in fact only 1 out of 3 takes a nap some of the time.  But we've still had quiet time because Mommy needs the break. So I give Rose an old game boy to play with, I give Cyprus my Kindle and let him fight it out with Juniper as to which one gets it and which one plays with the Legos.  Then I turn off all the lights, put up all the security gates in the house.  Then I go downstairs, plug in my earplugs and pretend that the kids are actually asleep.  At that point I either play mindless video games or clean the carpet depending on my mood.

But as for it actually being "quiet time" I just have to laugh.  I'm going to start keeping a tally board at how many times my daughter calls me from upstairs upset about something or desperate for help with the game. Then there's the physical abuse known as brothers wrestling as they fight over the Kindle or just the air they breathe or because one looked at the other the wrong way.  They simply seem to fight over anything and everything.

No matter what though I need that break.  I might have to take up actually going in the back yard with ear phones in and weed or something so that I really can't hear the screaming.  So my one bit of advice for other mom's is the same one I took from another author mom. . .it doesn't matter what the kids do in their room during quiet time, but make sure mom gets that time no matter what. It will become your sanity saver.