I've heard from many moms that have felt they are feeling like they are failing at everything. It may feel like it, but your not. I know I often feel that way, but the point is to never give up.
Now here is my mom confession about back to school and you can tell me if you think I still struggle with feeling like a failure or temporary hopelessness. . .
Cyprus starts back at the special needs preschool next week. The other day the bus driver called to confirm our address and the school he's going to. She just wanted to double check before test driving the route. Once she is able to do that she will call us back to let us know the pick up/drop off times for our son. I thanked her profusely and when I hung up I started sobbing.
Why you may ask? Simply because I was grateful there was no proof that my son was going back to school and hence a light at the end of the tunnel. What mom would want to get rid of her kids?
Me. Not permanently, just temporarily for a few hours. I need a break. I love my kids more than life itself. There are my miracles and amazing and funny and brilliant and and and. . .
But with this preschool I know he is going to a safe place with fantastic people who are trained to do things that I can't. My personal well is tapped out. So Cyprus will get a break from us, be with other kids, and be taught by kids who love him nearly as much as me and know how to reach him when I can't.
When I cried, I cried out of gratitude and relief. So yeah, I still have moments when I feel like I'm a failure, but I'm not a lone and I have amazing people to lift me up.
Hang in there. You can do it.
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