Teaching Gratitude

This last few days I have been struggling and praying to know how to improve as a mother. I'm actually a fairly good mom, but I want to be a better one.  I've noticed with Rose especially that she has been getting upset over everything. Part of that is because of how she processes/doesn't process her senses. She frequently gets emotionally confused and overloaded and ends up screaming "I'll never ever get to do (enter object or activity here) ever again."  Then she runs to her room and slams the door.  A few minutes later she will come down and apologize profusely in hopes that that will solve everything.  I keep telling her that I'm grateful that she says she is sorry, but I need her to show me that she is sorry but striving to be better.

Teaching how to "be better" is hard when you're trying to explain it to any kid, but especially those with special needs. I often wonder how much my kids actually understand of what I'm trying to teach them.  They hear differently, their brains are wired uniquely. They understand in their own way. 

So my new tactic is to try and teach Rose of the wonderful people and things that she already has in her life. To change from focusing on what she doesn't or can't have and instead focus on being glad for what she does have.

Two days ago I told her to spend a day thinking about five things that she was happy about or happy to have. Then when we would meet the next night for personal prayers I would tell her 5 things I was grateful for and she could tell me 5 things that she was happy for and together that would be 10 whole things.

Here is the list that she came up with:

- I'm happy for bunny (her stuffed rabbit)
- I'm grateful for my Pokémon book with bulbasaur in it
- I'm glad that I have friends
- I'm glad for my toys
- I'm glad for you Mommy


Here was my list:

- I'm grateful for blankets to tuck you in at night
- I'm grateful for a car that gets us to church, school, exercise, and to the store
- I'm grateful for my daughter who teaches me to be better
- I'm grateful for your daddy for he makes me smile
- I'm grateful for food on our table


Our plan is that each night we will keep tell each other five new things that we each are grateful for or make us happy. Hopefully it will help us learn to see more of the beauty in life and each other instead of both of us focusing on the things that frustrate both of us about each other. I believe its the right step for each of us at this time.