Cyprus surprised me yesterday. While I was working with Juniper and his learning specialist I got out blocks for Cyprus to play with. Within a half an hour he was picking through the pile of blocks for specific letters, then lining them up in a row, then reading them allowed.
These words included:
Pie
Team
Bake
Sheep
Shut
Cut
Wait
And so much more. I was flabbergasted. One of the things I struggle with how Cyprus manifests his autism is that I never know what he is thinking nor what he comprehends. And yet here he was putting words together, sounding them out, and reading them.
The specialist and I just stared at each other. I had no clue Cyprus could read. I knew he knew the alphabet and I knew he knew some word association from educational videos we watch frequently. But some of the words he was using I do not recall being on those programs. I am so proud of him and quite impressed. Go Cyprus!!!!
Thursday, August 14, 2014
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
The Lonely Cucumber
Kids with special needs often have difficulties in relation to food - sensitivities or aversions, etc. When my kids were learning to eat I made my own baby food simple because it was less expensive and had less chemicals. At that age my kids ate sweet potatoes, peas, carrots, apricots, plums, and all sorts of other good stuff. It was marvelous. Juniper would even come over, sit on my lap, and start eating my salads. I loved it.
Then at the magic age of 2 1/2 that all changed. Suddenly, the kids stopped eating all the good stuff and all they would eat was mac 'n cheese (boxed that is), chicken nuggets & fries, pepperoni pizza, cheese quesadillas, grilled cheese sandwiches and peanut butter & jelly sandwiches. For breakfast they would only eat cereal (dry on a plate, milk on the side in a cup). I went bonkers. I tried making food look fun. I tried having the kids help me cook it. I tried persuasion and force. Yeah. Not happening.
I talked to the kids doctor about it a few years ago when Cyprus had started this phase and she said that most kids go through that phase and that it can take an average of 72 times of trying to reintroduce the food before a kid will try it again (and that's for a 'normal' kid). And because of their age and weight the doctor said "IF they want pizza, give them pizza because they need the fat at this stage. Keep introducing the other foods, but mostly make sure they are getting the calories." I was hoping with Juniper's love of stealing my salads that he would bypass this phase entirely. Unfortunately, this summer the food aversion phase once again kicked in.
While previously working with an occupational therapist for Rose she had us to food related playtime. We'd make up games and then get Rose to be blindfolded then she would mix flavors and textures and Rose would sniff, lick, and possibly eat them mostly. Its amazing the power the mind has over food, because if I gave Rose the same food un-blindfolded she would gag, throw tantrums, and be 100% willing to starve herself for days if need be not to eat it.
So we live by multi-vitamins in the meantime to makeup for what they lack. I still battle giving them foods that they once loved. Yesterday I picked a fresh cucumber from our garden. Today I sliced it up to go with my lunch and once again I included my children in on the bounty. Along with cucumber they had a grilled cheese sandwich and an apple. Once again the lonely cucumber remains solitary on the plate. Rose at least deemed to lick it for me before she tossed it aside.
Only 56 more times to go.
Then at the magic age of 2 1/2 that all changed. Suddenly, the kids stopped eating all the good stuff and all they would eat was mac 'n cheese (boxed that is), chicken nuggets & fries, pepperoni pizza, cheese quesadillas, grilled cheese sandwiches and peanut butter & jelly sandwiches. For breakfast they would only eat cereal (dry on a plate, milk on the side in a cup). I went bonkers. I tried making food look fun. I tried having the kids help me cook it. I tried persuasion and force. Yeah. Not happening.
I talked to the kids doctor about it a few years ago when Cyprus had started this phase and she said that most kids go through that phase and that it can take an average of 72 times of trying to reintroduce the food before a kid will try it again (and that's for a 'normal' kid). And because of their age and weight the doctor said "IF they want pizza, give them pizza because they need the fat at this stage. Keep introducing the other foods, but mostly make sure they are getting the calories." I was hoping with Juniper's love of stealing my salads that he would bypass this phase entirely. Unfortunately, this summer the food aversion phase once again kicked in.
While previously working with an occupational therapist for Rose she had us to food related playtime. We'd make up games and then get Rose to be blindfolded then she would mix flavors and textures and Rose would sniff, lick, and possibly eat them mostly. Its amazing the power the mind has over food, because if I gave Rose the same food un-blindfolded she would gag, throw tantrums, and be 100% willing to starve herself for days if need be not to eat it.
So we live by multi-vitamins in the meantime to makeup for what they lack. I still battle giving them foods that they once loved. Yesterday I picked a fresh cucumber from our garden. Today I sliced it up to go with my lunch and once again I included my children in on the bounty. Along with cucumber they had a grilled cheese sandwich and an apple. Once again the lonely cucumber remains solitary on the plate. Rose at least deemed to lick it for me before she tossed it aside.
Only 56 more times to go.
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
How to work with a hyposensitive child. . .
This week I've met with an occupational therapist and a speech therapist to help me learn what my little Juniper needs to make sense of this world. The OT did some exercises to try and pinpoint any sensory issues that Juniper might have (we already expect he is somewhere on the Autism Spectrum). After several tests and a near concussion the OT determined that Juniper is hypo-sensitive.
The term hypo-sensitive can be a bit confusing. Even my mother's first reaction was that it meant he was overly sensitive to touch, sound, etc. That isn't the case. To be "hypo" sensitive means to have a low or diminished reaction to stimulus. For many kids with this issue they can seem to be daredevils. For example, Rose jumps from high locations in order to receive the same physical sensation that another person might get from jumping in place.
It can be a scary thing to watch your child do ever increasingly dangerous activities simply because they crave the same feeling you or I might get from normal activities. I've had kids running into walls on purpose, jumping large gaps to land on unsolid objects, etc.
According to the OT that is partially why Juniper is constantly running, constantly on the go, and also why he is having difficulty communicating. He is so focused on trying to get his body to feel that it won't quiet down enough to let his brain make certain connections. Juniper knows words. In fact, he knows many more words than Rose or Cyprus did at his age. And often he can use those words and phrases in context. However. . . he only speaks words or phrases that he has heard used at home 100s of times and very rarely to actually communicate with another person.
So the first thing I am learning with my children and their different sensitivities is that if I ever want them to be able to think then I need to get them exercising/moving first. Once their bodies feel that their sensitivity needs have been met, then they will step back and allow the brain to function better so that my kids can focus.
Oh what a lot of fun and learning we all have ahead of us.
The term hypo-sensitive can be a bit confusing. Even my mother's first reaction was that it meant he was overly sensitive to touch, sound, etc. That isn't the case. To be "hypo" sensitive means to have a low or diminished reaction to stimulus. For many kids with this issue they can seem to be daredevils. For example, Rose jumps from high locations in order to receive the same physical sensation that another person might get from jumping in place.
It can be a scary thing to watch your child do ever increasingly dangerous activities simply because they crave the same feeling you or I might get from normal activities. I've had kids running into walls on purpose, jumping large gaps to land on unsolid objects, etc.
According to the OT that is partially why Juniper is constantly running, constantly on the go, and also why he is having difficulty communicating. He is so focused on trying to get his body to feel that it won't quiet down enough to let his brain make certain connections. Juniper knows words. In fact, he knows many more words than Rose or Cyprus did at his age. And often he can use those words and phrases in context. However. . . he only speaks words or phrases that he has heard used at home 100s of times and very rarely to actually communicate with another person.
So the first thing I am learning with my children and their different sensitivities is that if I ever want them to be able to think then I need to get them exercising/moving first. Once their bodies feel that their sensitivity needs have been met, then they will step back and allow the brain to function better so that my kids can focus.
Oh what a lot of fun and learning we all have ahead of us.
Monday, August 11, 2014
Today's Win
Ever since I had Juniper, nearly three years ago, it has been a slow progression getting to a point where I feel like I could "handle" things again. Once I hit three kids (and long before I knew all three were special needs) I found it difficult to let my kids go play outside. For one thing the kids now outnumbered the parents. We simply didn't have enough hands. For another thing its hard to watch one kid sneak behind the nearby buildings while another is running into the busy street and the third is randomly walking into our neighbors houses.
In all honesty it was a bit overwhelming for me. Plus, for a while I was going through postpartum depression that did nothing to help the situation. Then throw in back surgery for good measure. Usually I would wait until my husband got home and asked him to take the kids outside. He was better at not freaking out over whatever our kids were doing. He was more calm and collected and kept better tabs over our motley crew.
Well, today was a win for me because I let all three kids out front this morning into the communal grassy area to play. I even brought out their toddler slide and popped up a blanket and pillow in the shade for me to keep a careful I on them. My eyes still darted nervously around the common area and I still had to call for Juniper when he wondered to close to the road (my neighbor and I were totally astounded when he actually listened and came back without me having to chase him down).
We were actually out there for at least an hour or longer and I'm still mentally sane and didn't lose any children in the process. I would call that a WIN on my part. Now time for some celebratory chocolate and maybe a nap. ;-)
In all honesty it was a bit overwhelming for me. Plus, for a while I was going through postpartum depression that did nothing to help the situation. Then throw in back surgery for good measure. Usually I would wait until my husband got home and asked him to take the kids outside. He was better at not freaking out over whatever our kids were doing. He was more calm and collected and kept better tabs over our motley crew.
Well, today was a win for me because I let all three kids out front this morning into the communal grassy area to play. I even brought out their toddler slide and popped up a blanket and pillow in the shade for me to keep a careful I on them. My eyes still darted nervously around the common area and I still had to call for Juniper when he wondered to close to the road (my neighbor and I were totally astounded when he actually listened and came back without me having to chase him down).
We were actually out there for at least an hour or longer and I'm still mentally sane and didn't lose any children in the process. I would call that a WIN on my part. Now time for some celebratory chocolate and maybe a nap. ;-)
Sunday, August 10, 2014
Teaching Gratitude
This last few days I have been struggling and praying to know how to improve as a mother. I'm actually a fairly good mom, but I want to be a better one. I've noticed with Rose especially that she has been getting upset over everything. Part of that is because of how she processes/doesn't process her senses. She frequently gets emotionally confused and overloaded and ends up screaming "I'll never ever get to do (enter object or activity here) ever again." Then she runs to her room and slams the door. A few minutes later she will come down and apologize profusely in hopes that that will solve everything. I keep telling her that I'm grateful that she says she is sorry, but I need her to show me that she is sorry but striving to be better.
Teaching how to "be better" is hard when you're trying to explain it to any kid, but especially those with special needs. I often wonder how much my kids actually understand of what I'm trying to teach them. They hear differently, their brains are wired uniquely. They understand in their own way.
So my new tactic is to try and teach Rose of the wonderful people and things that she already has in her life. To change from focusing on what she doesn't or can't have and instead focus on being glad for what she does have.
Two days ago I told her to spend a day thinking about five things that she was happy about or happy to have. Then when we would meet the next night for personal prayers I would tell her 5 things I was grateful for and she could tell me 5 things that she was happy for and together that would be 10 whole things.
Here is the list that she came up with:
- I'm happy for bunny (her stuffed rabbit)
- I'm grateful for my Pokémon book with bulbasaur in it
- I'm glad that I have friends
- I'm glad for my toys
- I'm glad for you Mommy
Here was my list:
- I'm grateful for blankets to tuck you in at night
- I'm grateful for a car that gets us to church, school, exercise, and to the store
- I'm grateful for my daughter who teaches me to be better
- I'm grateful for your daddy for he makes me smile
- I'm grateful for food on our table
Our plan is that each night we will keep tell each other five new things that we each are grateful for or make us happy. Hopefully it will help us learn to see more of the beauty in life and each other instead of both of us focusing on the things that frustrate both of us about each other. I believe its the right step for each of us at this time.
Teaching how to "be better" is hard when you're trying to explain it to any kid, but especially those with special needs. I often wonder how much my kids actually understand of what I'm trying to teach them. They hear differently, their brains are wired uniquely. They understand in their own way.
So my new tactic is to try and teach Rose of the wonderful people and things that she already has in her life. To change from focusing on what she doesn't or can't have and instead focus on being glad for what she does have.
Two days ago I told her to spend a day thinking about five things that she was happy about or happy to have. Then when we would meet the next night for personal prayers I would tell her 5 things I was grateful for and she could tell me 5 things that she was happy for and together that would be 10 whole things.
Here is the list that she came up with:
- I'm happy for bunny (her stuffed rabbit)
- I'm grateful for my Pokémon book with bulbasaur in it
- I'm glad that I have friends
- I'm glad for my toys
- I'm glad for you Mommy
Here was my list:
- I'm grateful for blankets to tuck you in at night
- I'm grateful for a car that gets us to church, school, exercise, and to the store
- I'm grateful for my daughter who teaches me to be better
- I'm grateful for your daddy for he makes me smile
- I'm grateful for food on our table
Our plan is that each night we will keep tell each other five new things that we each are grateful for or make us happy. Hopefully it will help us learn to see more of the beauty in life and each other instead of both of us focusing on the things that frustrate both of us about each other. I believe its the right step for each of us at this time.
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
Inventions I'm grateful for while potty training . . .
One of the top banes of parenthood has to be the dreaded season of potty training. Silly me decided to try two kids at once - and both boys at that. We've had our ups and downs, but there are certain inventions that are making this process endurable. They include, but are not limited to:
1) Febreze - Enough said
2) Lysol - Okay ditto
3) Glade Candles - Do you get the point
4) Patience - I'm still looking for an unlimited supply of this (and preferably on sale too)
5) Bubbles - Instant reward for any little boy
6) Red Starburst - One of the few treats my little Cyprus will eat (for some reason I have a kid opposed to sweets)
7) YouTube - When you are forced to have potty time on a potty chair anywhere using a device with YouTube on it can give the potty trainee enough distraction to do the deed
8) Kindle - See above invention
9) Washers & Dryers & Carpet Cleaners - For when accidents abound
10) Smiles & Cheers - The best inventions are free and can really make a little ones day
So what are some tips, tricks or tools that you have used to survive this horrid of seasons?
1) Febreze - Enough said
2) Lysol - Okay ditto
3) Glade Candles - Do you get the point
4) Patience - I'm still looking for an unlimited supply of this (and preferably on sale too)
5) Bubbles - Instant reward for any little boy
6) Red Starburst - One of the few treats my little Cyprus will eat (for some reason I have a kid opposed to sweets)
7) YouTube - When you are forced to have potty time on a potty chair anywhere using a device with YouTube on it can give the potty trainee enough distraction to do the deed
8) Kindle - See above invention
9) Washers & Dryers & Carpet Cleaners - For when accidents abound
10) Smiles & Cheers - The best inventions are free and can really make a little ones day
So what are some tips, tricks or tools that you have used to survive this horrid of seasons?
Monday, August 4, 2014
The Power of Quiet Time. . . .
I get the point of quiet time. I rally do. I'm just waiting for my kids to get. For the last two weeks we've regularly taken quiet time immediately after lunch. Its not that my kids really need to nap, in fact only 1 out of 3 takes a nap some of the time. But we've still had quiet time because Mommy needs the break. So I give Rose an old game boy to play with, I give Cyprus my Kindle and let him fight it out with Juniper as to which one gets it and which one plays with the Legos. Then I turn off all the lights, put up all the security gates in the house. Then I go downstairs, plug in my earplugs and pretend that the kids are actually asleep. At that point I either play mindless video games or clean the carpet depending on my mood.
But as for it actually being "quiet time" I just have to laugh. I'm going to start keeping a tally board at how many times my daughter calls me from upstairs upset about something or desperate for help with the game. Then there's the physical abuse known as brothers wrestling as they fight over the Kindle or just the air they breathe or because one looked at the other the wrong way. They simply seem to fight over anything and everything.
No matter what though I need that break. I might have to take up actually going in the back yard with ear phones in and weed or something so that I really can't hear the screaming. So my one bit of advice for other mom's is the same one I took from another author mom. . .it doesn't matter what the kids do in their room during quiet time, but make sure mom gets that time no matter what. It will become your sanity saver.
But as for it actually being "quiet time" I just have to laugh. I'm going to start keeping a tally board at how many times my daughter calls me from upstairs upset about something or desperate for help with the game. Then there's the physical abuse known as brothers wrestling as they fight over the Kindle or just the air they breathe or because one looked at the other the wrong way. They simply seem to fight over anything and everything.
No matter what though I need that break. I might have to take up actually going in the back yard with ear phones in and weed or something so that I really can't hear the screaming. So my one bit of advice for other mom's is the same one I took from another author mom. . .it doesn't matter what the kids do in their room during quiet time, but make sure mom gets that time no matter what. It will become your sanity saver.
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