Obstructive Play

One of the many things I'm learning about working with my Autistic children is the ability to do Obstructive Play. The idea is that while interactively playing with my kids I need to watch what they are doing for a bit, then quietly and gently do something different that interrupts how they are playing.

For example, Cyprus loves to line up all the toy vehicles (i.e. trains, cars, trucks, etc.) into one long line trunk to hood. With obstructive play I am supposed to sit with him on the floor and observe his play, then at a quiet moment do something like turn on of the cars sideways, switch two cars' positions, or put my arm down as he is about to line up another car and say "Oh oh. The road is blocked. What are you going to do?"  The idea is to trigger the brain to work on problem solving instead of continuing the repetitive play.

Juniper is obsessed with letters and numbers. When you show him a book with pictures he is so focused on the letters he doesn't see anything else on the page.  So the play therapist suggested I start taping over the words in simple picture books to get Juniper to focus on what else is there.  Or when Juniper is building towers out of his blocks and he is so focused on counting them that I take a moment to stop and observe. Then at a safe/appropriate time I gently knock the tower down and say, "Oh oh, they fell over. What are you going to do?"  And then to help Juniper rebuild or whatever choice he comes up with after given the problem.

The overall goal is to mix up their thought processes, to build new connections, to get him to actually interact with others, and to help them learn problem solving skills.  Who thought playtime took so much planning & thinking on a parents' part.

Today's Win

Ever since I had Juniper, nearly three years ago, it has been a slow progression getting to a point where I feel like I could "handle" things again.  Once I hit three kids (and long before I knew all three were special needs) I found it difficult to let my kids go play outside. For one thing the kids now outnumbered the parents.  We simply didn't have enough hands.  For another thing its hard to watch one kid sneak behind the nearby buildings while another is running into the busy street and the third is randomly walking into our neighbors houses.

In all honesty it was a bit overwhelming for me.  Plus, for a while I was going through postpartum depression that did nothing to help the situation. Then throw in back surgery for good measure.  Usually I would wait until my husband got home and asked him to take the kids outside.  He was better at not freaking out over whatever our kids were doing.  He was more calm and collected and kept better tabs over our motley crew.

Well, today was a win for me because I let all three kids out front this morning into the communal grassy area to play.  I even brought out their toddler slide and popped up a blanket and pillow in the shade for me to keep a careful I on them.  My eyes still darted nervously around the common area and I still had to call for Juniper when he wondered to close to the road (my neighbor and I were totally astounded when he actually listened and came back without me having to chase him down). 

We were actually out there for at least an hour or longer and I'm still mentally sane and didn't lose any children in the process.  I would call that a WIN on my part.  Now time for some celebratory chocolate and maybe a nap.  ;-)

Be Willing to Play

Sometimes the life of a mother can be overwhelming, especially the screams of "Mom, where are you?" when all you are trying to do is go to the bathroom for five minutes. And sometimes, though I love them dearly, my kids simply don't get that Mom has feelings of her own and is tired.  For the last five out of six days are kids have been starting their day between 4:45 am - 5:30 am.  I don't know why. All I know is it makes for really long days, and often times a grumpy Mommy.


On days when my husband works from home he blesses me by watching the kids so that I can take a nap. (He is pretty remarkable, I know.)  Today was just such a day. What utter bliss it is to lock my bedroom door, put on a pair of earplugs and tune out the fighting, the wanting, and the screams.


But there is one thing I have noticed, whether or not I get a nap. On days that I'm willing to throw my hands up in the air, forget the To Do list and simply play with my kids, my day goes better. Whether its spraying them with the garden hose, lay on my back and bounce a balloon in the air, or even play a video game with them, I'm usually in a happier place.


So here's to me learning to do this more often, even on hard days. My kids look alarmed, then amazed, when I do it. We also get a lot of laughter in. The fights seem less, and my priorities a little more long term. Overall, I think its a good goal for me to work toward, especially with Summer coming.