"Life as a Spectrum Mom"

Earlier this year my counselor told me I was sabotaging my writing. In a fit that would make my children proud, I thought, Oh yeah. I'll show you.

I am proud to present the book Life as a Spectrum Mom: The Ups, Downs, and Upside Downs of Parenting Autistic Kids. It's a series of essays, short stories, and laughable moments about my learning curve as a mom raising three kids on the spectrum. As far as style goes, think Erma Bombeck and Lisa Scottoline.

This is the first book in a series of books that will including such topics as transitions, routines, schools, tests, parent survival tips, and more. My goal is to expand the series to include the stories from other parents expounding on a portrait of their experiences. We all may be in a similar predicament, but our stories are as individual as our personalities.

To learn more about what Autism is like from a parent's perspective, click here: Life as a Spectrum Mom

Sweet Relief

Two of my little ones were hit with a chest cold this weekend and my sweet husband is on the verge of it himself. So this morning he was able to call a wonderful woman to cover for him leading music during Sacrament meeting. Then he offered to stay home with the kids so that I could attend church all by myself. When I started driving to church I started having a panic attack.  I tried to convince myself that I was going to be okay, I mean I didn't have to deal with my three kids after all.  But still, I was shaky, a bit panicked, and nearly drove home to get an anxiety pill or even to cave and just stay home.

But I still made it to church without turning around. I parked in the back so that I could make a quick getaway after the women's meeting. When I made my way up to the front foyer I saw one of these sweet sisters that I've known since we first moved into the neighborhood over five years ago. She walked up to me, took me by the hand and said, "You don't know just how much I have been thinking about you this last week."

This sweet lady held me and told me how wonderful a job I was doing with my kids and how special I must be to God for him to have sent me three such uniquely special children. Then another sister came up and the first took her by the hand and the second looked at me and said, "I've been thinking so much about you since your testimony last week."  And together this two grandmotherly women kept warming my heart with the love and sincere tender thoughts they had for me. Then they offered to watch my kids at any point so that I could have a break to run away for a hot chocolate and a walk. I told them that my kids were in school three days a week in the morning, but that I was grateful for their offer. The second sister said, "I love  taking care of special needs children." I was overwhelmed with the kind thoughts and generous hearts of these women

Then I went into the chapel to sit on our normal pew.  I figured since I was alone I would scoot to the far end so that I could share it with anyone who needed a seat. Then my deer friend who sits in front of us (her daughters are our babysitters) offered for me to join them. A few moments later an older couple came in behind us and asked if the bench were saved for anyone. I told them we usually sit there, but as I was alone I was glad for them to take the bench.  As the woman sat down she looked at me closer and said, "I've been thinking about you....."

I then had a wonderful experience in Sunday School learning much as we were introduced to studying the New Testament again this year. I was so touched and learned some things I didn't know, even though I've studied these scriptures before.  Then I went to Relief Society and was again spiritually fed.

When I got home I felt more peace than I've had in months. I gave my husband a huge kiss, and hugged my children a little closer. I put in an after lunch movie for the kids and was holding my sick Rose when the phone rang. It was the first sister from church. "So when can we babysit on Wednesday? How's 8 am - 5 pm sound?" 

My jaw dropped. I explained that my kids had school in the morning, but she still offered for her and her friend to come over in the afternoon so I could run away for some me time.  My heart is filled to the brim with love and gratitude for this day, for this experience, and for these amazing women that God has sent to me to help when times are rough.  Today I am truly blessed.
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The Tenderness of Children

For the last few weeks our Rose, 6 years old, has moved back into her little brothers' bedroom. Then the last week we keep she moved out into the hallway just outside of our bedroom door. We keep trying to convince her that she'd be more comfortable in bed, but she adamantly remains where she is.  My husband had a talk with her this morning about why she is sleeping outside of our room.  She told him, "because I'm worried about Mommy."

We've talked to her about the possibility of me having Multiple Sclerosis like my grandfather did and we told her all the things that can mean. She knows that I'm scared, but that we also don't know everything we need to know yet.  So my darling little six year old daughter has taken it upon herself to sleep outside of my room to make sure I'm okay.

I don't know if its because I always sleep on their floor when they are sick, because I'm worried about them and want to make sure they are okay.  Or if its just her fear that I won't always be around.  Either way, I am deeply touched by her love for me. You are truly my darling, Rose.