Bubblesnot

There are days. . . oh man are there days. . . (whether or not your kids are special needs) when they just push you too far. Sometimes I make good choices and handle things surprisingly well considering. That's when I often get a little too cocky and say, "You got this thing."

Then there are days where you call for a "do-over".  I think that's today for me.

My kids sent me into SPD overload today and I didn't handle it well. My daughter was specifically doing negative things to get a reaction out of me (and honestly I know this is what kids just do because they are kids, but I just don't get it).  After Rose received her consequence I felt horrible because I went overboard in my reaction. That's when I have to take a moment to look inward and say, "Okay was that handled well or was that all wrong."  After a really long day of pushing buttons I know I could have handled the situation heaps better.

Once I was able to step back and calm down I went back into her room, sat down on the floor with her and we talked.  We talked about what happened, what was good, what needed improvement on both of our parts.  Then we came up with a code word -- Bubblesnot. When I'm helping her to do something that she knows she can do herself than she is supposed to say, "Hey Mom--Bubblesnot!"  That's when I know I need to step back and just let her do it so that she gets the practice and realize that she can be responsible.   Then again, if she is balking at doing something without my help when I know perfectly well that she can do it herself I am supposed to say, "Hey Rose--Bubblesnot!"  Then she'll know that I believe in her and that she can do it.

We both apologized to each other, sang a few songs, and then we both said prayers.

I know some people say I apologize to my kids too often, but there's something in my soul that makes me want my kids to know that I'm human too and that we're both learning as we go, but together we can accomplish anything. I also apologized in my prayers to God because I believe that she was his child first and that he entrusted her into my care. When I have a mommy fail moment I feel he deserves an apology too so he knows that I'm not giving up and that I do see her as a precious gift from him.  Hopefully, each step we take in the process will help us grow together and closer to heaven.  I want my kids to know that family does really matter and that everyone deserves being treated with respect, even children.