Surviving Church

I love church. I love the uplifting nature of church. I love having the reminders of what is truly important in life and I love the feeling of peace I get when I go to church.  But. . . .ever since I had children (even before I learned they were all special needs) I struggled with how to keep my children reverent during sacrament meeting.  I always felt like the biggest failure because my kids were the ones screaming, jumping, talking loudly, etc.  It was especially hard when we had little Juniper. The kids out numbered the adults. We did not have enough hands.  Then, to top it off, my husband was called to lead the music and choir during sacrament meeting. Suddenly, I feared going to church and having to deal with all three children all by myself. And to top if off, that is about the time we learned that all three of our kids had special needs.

It got to the point that it was almost a relief if my kids got sick because then I could stay home to take care of them without fearing that they would disrupt the ability of everyone else to feel the spirit and peace I longed for at church.  But the more often that my kids got sick the more I missed church. I missed the beautiful music, the peaceful spirit, and being able to partake of the sacrament.  But on the few occasions I would take the kids I would usually end up bruised, battered, and in tears. 

With the help of some wonderful family and friends I have learned several tips on how to prepare for church so that I have a greater chance of not ending up being a physical/emotional wreck afterwards. Here are some of the things I've learned;

1. Sit by someone who is willing to help in time of need - Every week, my wonderful friend whose daughters babysit my kids save us a seat in the pew immediately behind them. If we don't show up by five minutes before the meeting starts then they give the seat to someone else. But if we do come then we always have a seat saved for us. And the beauty of sitting behind this amazing family is that if I need help I just tap them on the shoulder and they come to the rescue.  I've handed Juniper over to the mom several times when I've had to deal with Rose and Cyprus.  The daughters have even taken kids to the bathroom for me when needed or come and sit with me when things get too overwhelming.
2. Take a snack - I know some people are against giving kids snacks during sacrament meeting, but I heard a talk once during one of our regional or general conferences that stated that you do what ever you need as a parent to help your kids be there and be reverent. Because if they are at least there, then they get the feeling of peace and they still hear what is going on around the. And if it takes a snack to help them be there and survive through it, then it takes a snack. Just be willing to clean up afterwards if needed.  I usually pack either craisins or fruit snacks, or baby puffs and a sippy cup with water in it for all of my kids.
3. Activities - Some of the best activities I've found to help my kids be quieter during church include coloring books, church related kids books, dry erase marker books, quiet puzzle folders, word cards, and on really hard Sundays I'll let them play word and puzzle apps on my Kindle, but only if the volume is turned all the way down.

I usually prepare their church/diaper bag hours in advance to make sure I have all the necessary snacks, crayons, books, etc., in a desperate hope that it will be a great day. Does it always work? No. But it works the majority of the time.  And my husband has even started asking people to do musical numbers so that he can come sit by us during the majority of the meeting. Then when its time to sing the closing hymn he goes back up to the stand to lead the music.

Even though it would be easier for me to always stay home every Sunday, and less distracting for everyone else, I would be teaching my kids the wrong message -- that church isn't important. But for our family it is. The peace and knowledge we get from being there is vital to our survival.  I still may not always make it, but when I do I will be as prepared as I can to make it a good experience for the entire family. I hope these suggestions help you as well.