New Ways to Watch Movies

My family has a tradition that on Thanksgiving and Christmas Day (as long as it isn't Sunday) we will go see a movie at the theater. That's just what we did since I was a teenager. We rarely hung out with extended family.  My husband and I carried that tradition over into our married life as well. Until we had kids.


One thing I swiftly learned with Rose and Cyprus is that we probably will never go to see a movie at the movie theatre until they are much, much older.  They cannot/will not sit through an entire movie, let alone be quite for one. As a result Frank and I have learned to wait until movies come out on Netflix or Redbox to watch it (except on those rare occasions that we can save up for a babysitter + the cost of a movie).


The problem with watching a movie on DVD or instant streaming is that we either assume we are not going to hear most of the movie amongst the commotion of our rambunctious house hold, especially if the movie doesn't catch the kids' attention within 2 minutes.  We're pretty safe with the Toy Story movies or the Monsters Inc./University movies.  I've often tried to show my kids some of the classic Disney movies, but its only been within the last six months that Rose has even been keen on watching Cinderella or  Sleeping Beauty.


I've loved the movie Brave ever since it came out on DVD (first time I go to watch). I've been trying to get my kids to watch it and every time they either pitch a fit or turn off the DVD player. Until today. I started watching it while Cyprus and Rose were at school. It still had about 20 minutes left to go when their bus pulled up outside. After watching the end of the movie I went to switch it out and Rose yelled, "No. Now I have to watch the beginning."


This is the second time something like that has happened in the last week. So I guess the trick with my particular kids is to show them the end first, then they'll watch the rest.  Sounds horrible to me, like reading the last chapter of a book before you take the journey through the story. But hey, to each their own.

Communication Backups & Supports - It's Okay to Ask for Help

One of the struggles I have had as a mom is wishing I could understand my children better. I know....shocker, huh. I haven't met a mom who hasn't felt that way at some point. Especially with two of my kids alternative thinking setups I feel as if I'm on a totally different plane than they are. Now keep in mind, I'm looking at my kids suddenly from the aspect of a tired, worn out, physically depleted mother and totally misreading their cues. Logically I understand that they're toddlers and may not even understand themselves what they are thinking or feeling because they haven't learned the definitions yet.

When you throw in developmental delays the frustration levels might increase. For me they most certainly did. I remember when my Rose was about six months old and we were living in a different state than the rest of extended family. I grew up the youngest of two kids and the only one with children of my own. My mom wasn't there. My step mom wasn't there. And I had no sisters I could turn to. One day while my husband was at work, Rose and I were alone in our tiny apartment and she started to cry. . .and cry. . .and cry. I didn't know what to do. Nothing I tried seemed to help.

Finally, in desperation I called someone I had met at church and left a desperate voice message, "My baby is crying and I don't know why and I don't know what to do." This sweet lady (who had five or six kids or her own - all a little older) heard my plea and willingly came over to my house. As soon as I handed the baby over to her Rose stopped crying. I was offended. Now I know what you're going to say . . . she was just a baby . . .how can you be offended by a little baby.  But I'm being honest with you. I was hurt. I couldn't help my baby, but somebody else could.  I was her mom. Wasn't I supposed to inherently know all the answers.

It has taken me years to realize that no, we don't instinctively have all the answers - and that's okay. The thing that we need to realize, and is often the hardest to admit, is that its okay to accept help (and dare I say it - ask for help).

For example, when Rose was about twenty months old I was SO frustrated because I COULD NOT communicate with my daughter. I didn't understand what she wanted/needed. So my dear, sweet, amazing husband surprised me with Your Baby Can Read.
 
This program is awesome. It teaches kids sight words that they can use for objects, actions, etc., and then follows them up with pictures so they can connect words with images. The program came with books, videos, helper cards., etc. It was BRILLIANT. Suddenly Rose was learning words and we could start connecting in little ways.

Then this year, my now four year old, Cyperus, went in for his birthday checkup and I was talking to the doctor about his speech delays. Keep in mind this kid is smarter than me.  He took apart the keyboard of my laptop when he was two just so that he could figure out how it works. Cyperus can also recite word for word the entire Your Baby Can Read videos before the sections happen and without sound. However, he hasn't connected that you can use words to communicate with others. Because of this his pediatrician recommended that we teach him sign language and I readily agreed.

But where do you start. I mean learning English is bad enough, but how do you teach someone sign language when you hardly know it yourself. That's where my amazing friends come in. I made mention of what the pediatrician said and instantly people came to my rescue--a neighbor lent me her Baby Signing Time dvds and another friend loaned me her Signing Time dvds. My kids went NUTS!!!! They LOVE them. All of a sudden all three of my kids are signing along to the music and doing the signs. And suddenly my autistic son starts communicating to me in sign language things that he wants, but not only that, he says the words to.  Now its starting to connect to him that you can get your point across to others, you don't have to live in your own world with a major disconnect around you.

We have since learned that you can also check out some of these dvds at our local library, watch them on YouTube.com and through Netflix instant streaming.  Thanks to all of these sources and recommendations from friends and husbands a like I am now being able to talk with my kids in their own language. And that is a blessing I will forever cherish.