Enforcing Boundaries

Today I took the kids with me to our local exercise group. We used to go all the time, but had to stop for health reasons. Just recently we have started to go again, but now my kids don't remember the rules. While the moms workout in the gym the kids get to play with toys on the blue carpeted overflow next to us. Today my kids were the only little ones there and they decided to push the boundaries.

Rose was supposed to be working on her homework first -two pages in her 1st grade practice book--before she was allowed to play with the toys. This is something that should take 15 minutes max. Yeah by the end of an hour she had lost several privileges and was still forced to finish her two pages. And now she is mad at me because the consequence of her actions was to be grounded from mommy's kindle until after lunch. Oh well.

Cyprus decided to see if he could get away with lining up all the vehicle toys and shoving them out onto the gym floor so he "had" to go get them. Once he was out there then he should get to play right?  Yeah, no. He got two time outs (sitting buckled in the double stroller until ready try again).

Now, Juniper is Juniper. He's a three-strikes and you're out kind of kid. He tried escaping out the gym door twice. Then on the third time I stood with him on the carpet and showed him where it was okay to play and that he should not cross the boundary on to the gym floor. So this kid runs up and down the line separating the two rooms and then, while I'm looking directly at him, taps one toe over the line onto the gym floor. He got three time outs which left him in the stroller until the end of class.

I understand that all kids need boundaries and rules, but special needs kids need a clear understanding of them to help regulate their behavior. The goal now is for this tired mommy to stay consistent in enforcing the boundaries so that they do become totally clear.

So here's to trying again tomorrow.

Good Books for Kids

I love books.  I'm addicted to them and I want to pass on that love to my children.

My daughter loves books, but has a hard time sitting still for them. My boys don't have the patience for sitting to hear a story and due to their communication issues I'm not sure how much they retain when they overhear it.

So here is my polling questions for the week:

1) What are your favorite books to read with your little ones?


2) How do you get your kids to sit down long enough for a story?

Early Child Intervention

Today I took Juniper to his first meeting with the Early Child Intervention people for our local school district. They put us in a room where there was this awesome train table so that J could play while we talked about what happens in the transition process.

The first question they asked me was "What are you concerns for J?"

I honestly drew a blank. Compared to Rose and Cyprus J seems downright advanced in his speech for his age, as well as his fine and gross motor skills. I mean the kid can say 3-5 word sentences. 

Then they asked, "Does he follow instructions?"

I laughed (and when I told my husband he laughed too). Frank said it best, "J doesn't acknowledge instructions."

Then in all honesty I told them that J has had to fight for everything--our attention, toys, etc. I'm sorry he's gotten jipped a bit, but the last few years have been a bunch of swear words tied into one long string of trials. Only now are we at a point as a family that we can start focusing on the things we need to again. That's why Juniper is finally getting the help he apparently needs.

I explained to them that he doesn't take no for an answer, he takes it for a challenge. I mean the kid uses the lazy susan in our kitchen as a latter to get to the knives (yeah still looking for a safe hiding place for our knife block).  Juniper also has a tendency if he isn't getting his way to do a whale-breach type flop on the floor (or into my face when appropriate).

The sweet ladies listened politely while taking a lot of notes. Then circled 4-5 areas on a piece of paper as to what to test him on the next time we go back. Then came the fun part. . . telling J it was time to go.

Did I mention he was playing with this incredibly awesome train table while we were talking.  Yeah, he did everything not to get caught. In the end one of the ladies went one direction and I went the other until we could trap him in between us. Then we went out front to schedule J's testing date. While I worked on that he played with this enormous block that had stringy things and beads, and an abacus, etc. When I told him it was time to leave he threw a massive tantrum all the way out to the car.

Yeah, so at least he behaved the ladies with a visual aide of what he does at home. We'll see how he does when he's tested at the end of July.  In the meantime, I am extremely grateful for patient women who know how to work with kids like mine. My life would be a lot crazier without you.

Thank You Lego Movie

Often times mornings with "special needs" kids can be a trial. If mommy doesn't get things just right from the get go then the whole day can turn into a battle or a meltdown.  Even though my kids need routines to make sense of their world there "strong-will" often gets in the way as they try to be in charge. If I let them in charge they would never get dressed, eat breakfast within a certain time frame, etc.

So I was surprised at how my daughter was impacted by the release of the LEGO movie on DVD. We never took the kids to see if at the movie theater because they can't sit still/do well being confined in one place for so long. A few weeks ago, as soon as it came out on DVD, we bought the movie and showed the kids.  Now, thanks to Emmett the construction worker, my daughter has started going through a list of things she needs to accomplish in the morning to start the day.

Today, for the first time, Rose got dressed of her own accord, without prompting or fighting. She then brushed her teeth, asked where her brush was so she could brush her hair, etc.

So thank you LEGO Movie for getting my daughter to do something she normally wouldn't do. You are my hero.

More Help

Last week Kids on the Move (KOTM) came to test my son Juniper.  Now KOTM helps kids between 0-3 years old that are developmentally delayed. They bring in all forces to help teach the parents and the kids how to strengthen and possibly overcome these delays. By the time we learned about KOTM they weren't able to help Rose because she was already 3 years old. So we worked with the local school district for her. But KOTM helped my Cyprus when he was 2 1/2 and were the first to tell me that he was possibly Autistic. They were right. 

At the time KOTM was working with Cyprus they mentioned (just from observation) that they didn't think Juniper was delayed. So I left it at that. I didn't have him tested.  Besides he started speaking a lot earlier and with more proficiency that either Cyprus or Rose. But for the last several months I have been struggling with all three kids. I felt that I needed help and a little break. Plus, with two unique children before him, I had no clue whether or not he had delays or was just being strong-willed.  It was then that I decided that when he turned three in the fall I would have the school district test him to see if he could get into the preschool with his brother.  Then I started thinking, "Why not have Kids on the Move come and test him now. That way I would at least finally know if he was normal or delayed.

It turns out that he's delayed. Now some of it maybe from mimicking the behavior of his older siblings. Some of it can be sure stubbornness, or it could be he truly is delayed. We're still trying to figure that out. Well today the KOTM nurse came out to check out his general health history and to test his ears/eyes. We know now that his vision and hearing are normal. So we've ruled that out. She told me that the occupational therapist will call me next and he'll come out to help work with us on Juniper's sleep, eating, etc., struggles.

So the long and short of this post. . .if you struggling with your kids don't wait and try to muddle through. Seek/ask for help--from family, friends, local programs. You don't have to do this alone. There are people with the knowledge you need to help meet your kids needs and to make your life a little more sensible. At least in the end you would be able to find out if you need the help in the first place or just a nice long vacation to reboot yourself.

Unusual Toys

So the thing about having unique children is that they come up with highly unusual ways to entertain themselves. Yesterday Cyprus brought in a brick from the back yard. He has been carrying it around everywhere with him and every now and then he'll lay it on the floor and start running circles around it.  My husband made mention he was "running around the block" for exercise.

The today we went to the grocery store to buy bananas. This afternoon Cyprus comes walking in with the whole bunch and sits down on them.  I guess he thinks they are shaped like a chair.

Yeah, so anyone want some bruised/squished bananas that were sit on by a 4 year old?

Cranky Food Mommy

So my children are often way too much like their mommy. When they are tired, sore, or hungry they are grumpy.  Well lately I have drastically changed the way I eat in order to live healthier.  My goal is that by the end of the year I will be able to run circles around them (even if that means they are glued to their chairs while I'm doing it). 

For the most part this eating healthier is an awesome thing to do. Sure it costs more to eat less processed food, I eat differently than the rest of the family, and sometimes it makes me downright grumpy eating my healthy stuff while I see someone laying on the cheese to their taco. On the up side I've lost a lot of weight that makes it easier to do things and to take care of my family. However, with other health issues poking its head into my business I don't have as much of an energy increase as others (pretty much everyone else) on the same program, and haven't been able to exercise without getting sick until just this week.  Most of my crankiness comes from the fact that I'm dealing with kids with extreme food sensitivity issues.  Food can't be touching on the plate, it has to look just right, and and and infinity. 

I want my family to eat healthier and I really don't want to keep making separate meals.  But unfortunately we aren't there yet.  So while my family ate Little Caesar's pizza last night, I chopped up some roasted turkey, granny smith apple, walnuts, carrots all on a bed of mixed greens.  Yes it was quite delicious, but sitting there eating my salad while my family ate pizza made this Momma far from a happy camper. 

So does anyone out there have a magic wand that I can borrow that makes my family suddenly not have so many food aversions? Or even one that makes me still lose weight while indulging in ice-cream, chocolate, and Mexican food? You would be my angel hero forever.

Signed,
The Mommy Looking for the Middle Ground

PS Even though I miss certain foods I still think what I'm doing is the right thing to do at the right time (even if I'm temporarily grumpy about it).